Which of the 4 are you?
I’m obsessed with this right now!
Good morning, New Day community!
I’m always surprised and impressed when you ask me questions like, “How was your trip? You were in Utah at the Young Living Convention, right?” I feel like I can barely remember my own schedule sometimes, and think it’s really thoughtful when you do 🙂
As I’ve been expressing to some of you since I got back to Chicago, the convention was great and Salt Lake City and Utah were AWESOME. I would love to go back and enjoy Utah more in the future.
So in some ways, I got what I was expecting to get out of the convention. I was able to smell EVERY essential oil at the conference expo (jasmine blew my mind! but more on that later), I got to see one of the Young Living farms up close (the beauty of the farm in the promotional materials is NOT AT ALL EXAGGERATED!)
It was also a lot of fun to spend time with my friend at the convention, another Network Spinal chiropractor.
The education and speakers were also top notch. Mel Robbins, author of “The 5 Second Rule” (which is everywhere right now) spoke to us on the last morning of the convention about how to motivate ourselves to take action in our lives (as easy as 5-4-3-2-1, apparently!)
The workshop that really took me by surprise was an educational workshop on “The Four Tendencies.” This class was basically a presentation of a book by the same title by Gretchen Rubin.
Somehow, this workshop ended up being the most memorable part of the convention for me!
I’m obsessed with the 4 tendencies right now! Let me tell you why.
The 4 tendencies is a way to understand human behavior, both the things that work to our advantage, as well as understanding how to catch the flaws that can derail us by using a strategy that works for our specific tendency or type.
Gretchen Rubin’s theory goes that there are these 4 tendencies, types, or ways of being, and each of us basically belongs to one of these types. Your tendency doesn’t change situationally or as you get older, so it’s just something you might as well learn about so that you can use what you learn to your advantage.
Which type are you? I’ll say one more thing about this before I highlight each type, which is that our tendency is based on how we relate to expectations. There are 2 types of expectations in life, says Rubin, external– or the ones society, family, coworkers, etc, place on us, and internal expectations– the one’s we place on ourselves.
I was intrigued, but wasn’t overly impressed by all of this, until the presenter began describing my tendency, and I was like “whoa, that is SO me!”
The first tendency, the Upholder, is the person who responds to both internal and external expectations. These folks are good at doing what’s expected of them, but also have a high level of goal orientation and self direction when it comes to their own expectations for themselves. Upholders usually achieve a lot in life, but can be rigid and get thrown into a panic when there is an interruption to their carefully scheduled plans and routines. The motto of the Upholder is “Do what’s right, even if people call you uptight.” Upholders do best living by their calendars and planners.
The second tendency, the Questioner, is the person who is responsive to their internal expectations, but doesn’t always respond to expectations externally placed on them. Their motto is, “I’ll comply, if you tell me WHY.” Questioners are highly self directed, but can follow external expectations by basically deciding they “agree” with it and converting it to an internal expectation. Questioners downfall is getting hung up on what they see as arbitrary rules, annoyed by people questioning them, and can be prone to “analysis paralysis.”
The third tendency is the Rebel. Rebels don’t like either form of expectations! Their motto, “You can’t make me, and neither can I!” summarizes their key issue in life, which is that they can sabotage even their own best ideas by resisting their own expectations. The key with rebels, said our presenter, is that they can uphold expectations, as long as they reframe expectations as an expression of their own unique identity and self expression. And when they strongly believe in a cause, they will act.
The fourth tendency is the tendency that the largest chunk of the population belongs to, said our presenter. The Obliger is a rock, a great team player, and the person who responds strongly to external expectations, but somehow has trouble motivating themselves to work on their own goals and dreams. They are the person who is most likely to say, “I can do so much for other people, I just don’t know why I can’t do for myself.” The Obliger’s motto is “You can count on me. And I’m counting on you, to count on me.” Obligers have the hardest time in business because they are so much more motivated to work on other people’s projects and contributing to teams and family. The key to success for an Obliger is to have an accountability partner (the only catch is that the partner cannot be another Obliger!)
Now that I’ve described the tendencies, do you think you know which type you are? Do you think you know which type I am??
(In case you look into this further, I will make you aware that there is a quiz you can take online to find your tendency, but I don’t recommend it! Way too simplistic. You could even say I disagree with it. . . )
So you might have guessed it, I am a Questioner through and through. As soon as the presenter read the Questioner “motto” I was a believer that this 4 tendencies thing was going to be a big help in my life! The Questioner action plan, according to the presenter, is to gain clarity, and to set a deadline. Without a deadline, Questioners can keep working on things forever, improving and changing them based on new information.
Since learning about this, I’ve been obsessed with figuring out other people’s tendencies, such as my family and New Day team.
I’ve also been thinking about how different types might experience chiropractic, Network Spinal, and the process of being in care at New Day. There’s definitely a lot for the Questioner to love, with the educational workshops we offer, and there is obviously A TON to learn about Network Spinal and Donny Epstein on the internet (you’ll never get bored). The Upholder wants a road map for success, and would be interested in completing necessary workshops, and always knowing how successful they are through their reassessments and getting my input on their progress.
Rebels, I would imagine, could get on board with care for their spine and nervous system by embracing it as part of their identity, and something that challenges the status quo way of experiencing health in our society. Obligers may take longer to come into care, but when they do, would appreciate the structure of having an expectation that they follow their careplan (and finally take care of themselves for once!)
Is this interesting or helpful to you? Which type are you? What’s your tendency? Comment here, or let me know at your appointments this week 🙂